Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The Male Submissive - Chivalry or weakness?

What image comes to mind when you hear the word "male submissive"? When you hear Female Domination, what is the first image that comes to mind? For me, even now, the first thing that comes to mind is a weak, pathetic man down on his knees being whipped by a leather clad Dominatrix. Even though I am living a 24/7 FemDom marriage, I still have that image that comes to mind when I hear male submissive. Why do so many people think that the male submissive is weak and pathetic? Is it because that is what most are exposed to, whether it is in main stream films or pornography on the internet? This preconceived notion is what hindered me from fully embracing D/s and FemDom in the beginning. So, could this image that has been burned into our brains effect the way women view FemDom? Of course. In my previous post I expressed my opinion on introducing your wife to FemDom. The reason I chose the route of seducing her Dominant nature was for this reason. Most women will automatically think of that pathetic weak man crawling on all fours. Yuck!!!

So, is the modern day male submissive really a knight in shinning armour? Or weak and pathetic? In my opinion they are knights in shinning armour.

Let's take a moment to think about the modern man. For some reason they think that since women are wanting to be seen as equals in the work place, that they also want to be seen as equals outside the workplace. Now don't get me wrong, I am all for the feminist movement. I think women should have the right to vote, drive and make the same wage as a man. Just because women won this right does not mean they want to be treated as men. Women should be respected, cherished and adored. Bottom line is women should be treated like women. There have been so many times I have had a door not held open for me by a man. Or when in the grocery store and man not pulling his cart aside to let me pass first. The only thing that comes to mind when I encounter these men is how totally pathetic and idiotic they are. Nothing is more unattractive then a selfish, macho, egocentric man. A man with the attitude that women should be treated like men.

So, how are submissive men different from these other men? Submissive men adore and honor women. They hold doors open for complete strangers. They offer to let a woman pass first in a crowded isle at the grocery store. They offer to help. They don't see women as the same as men, they see women as special.

Just this past weekend we attended a surprise birthday party. In our group there are very few FemDom couples. The surprise party was for one of the submissive men, which left two other sub men at the party. One of them was my husband and the other was the husband of a good friend. I had already told my husband he was to assist the hostess in any way she needed. She is a female submissive and is not accustomed to asking for help. My husband obeyed and helped her all night long, along with the other submissive male. It was unbelievable how attentive they both were. Instead of having to be asked to help they both jumped right in. What I think really shocked me is when my husband told me that he thoroughly enjoyed helping the hostess. The immediate gratification he got from helping was obeying my instructions. The second he got was from serving. Even though the hostess is a submissive herself she is still a woman. My husband made sure he carried heavy items for her, took care of the trash and basically did anything she needed.

At the end of the night I received one of the greatest compliments I have ever gotten. Oh, I had received compliments all night on how beautiful and hot I looked, which was great. But these last two comments I will keep in my heart forever. The hostess and one of my good FemDom friends pulled me aside and told me how amazing they thought my husband was. They were so impressed by his attentiveness. And then, there was the cherry on the top of my cake - they both, almost in unison, told me how lucky I was to have such a caring and attentive husband and submissive. What floored me is they have no idea how true their words are.

It is amazing how far my husband has come in the past 5 months. He is like night and day. He lives to please me. He is, day by day, becoming a better man, husband, father and submissive. He finally understands that I am to be cherished, and he is to be grateful to have me. He is so good to me. Even though I stay home, if at the end of the day I haven't gotten a chance to put the clothes away, he will do it. Even though he works all day, when he gets home he will cook because he knows I hate it. Just 5 months ago he was a selfish, fantasy driven, sub-centric man. He wouldn't open the car door for me, wait for me to walk by my side, make dinner. He might have done some of those things but you can bet he would have let me know he wasn't happy about having to do them. 5 months ago my husband was not a submissive man by any stretch of the imagination. He thought he was, but he wasn't. He was a pathetic, macho man that most women look at and want to throw up.

Oh, but now, he is a submissive man who is also a knight in shinning armour. When submission is truly brought out in a man they become modern day knights. They lose their resentment and stop taking life for granted. I do not know if I would feel this way today if it weren't for the transformation I have seen in my husband. But then I guess there is nothing like a dose of reality amidts the fantasy world of movies and the internet. I am the luckiest woman in the world to be blessed by having a submissive who is not only strong and loving but who cherishes and adores me. I wish there were more truly submissive men in this world.

The bottom line is, in my opinion, the modern day male submissive is the woman's answer to that long, lost knight. Complete with chivalry and adoration. The macho man who treats women like dirt is actually the pathetic, weak man. Maybe as our society continues to decline, more women will wake up a replace that weak image of the male submissive with one like the picture I chose to start this post with. Hopefully!!!

14 comments:

saratoga said...

Claudia-

I'm probably the exception here, but I don't really see 'chivalry' and the 'knight' thing as really having much to do with alternative lifestyle FemDom relationships.

I wrote a post about this last fall. The "romance" so often connected to chivalry and knight-stuff is actually a reference to Romance languages- not a behavioral style.

But, read the post...you'll see what I mean.

I think it's another example of similar behaviors looking alike to the untrained eye, but, in fact, meaning totally different things.

-saratoga

helpmate hubby said...

i think you illustrate perfectly that a D/s relationship means different things to different people. I honestly think the majority of Women would prefer the knight/Queen metaphor as they still want to see a man as their providor and protector, but like the thought of him submitting his will to Hers as though Sher were a Queen.

bud said...

really enjoyed your post....

MissBonnie said...

I often say to my Oz
"your the king, of MY castle"

I find the Knight terminology always seems to crop up in marriages within the Femdom community

nice piece once again Claudia.

MissBonnie
Collar N cuffs

VeezKnight said...

As my screen name implies, Goddess V often refers to and thinks of me as her knight... and sometimes as her slave. Either is fine with me. Just today she bought the same picture you included in your post, plus a nice frame to hang in our house. And this year for Christmas she gave me a knight figurine that now stands in our bedroom.

Milliscent said...

Claudia,

Thank you for sharing this. I found it to be a wonderful tribute to the changes that have come over your husband, and your marriage.

Your profound love for him, and the growth of that love now that he has accepted his submissiveness is very ably illustrated throughout your text.

robg said...

I have two questions: (1) You say your husband wears an ordinary cock ring which he is forbidden to remove, but my experience is that an ordinary cock ring simply falls off when there is no erection for it to grasp. So how does that work. (2) Do you punish your husband for serious infractions -- e.g., the argument you describe. In most F/m relationships that would have called for a really serious and painful punishment. In fact, if you read sites that give advice on FemDom marriages, they always talk about the need for physical punishment to reinforce the relationship.

robg said...

I've recently created a new blog called "WantSpanking" for those of us whose wives or sweethearts refuse to administer punishment. I'd be interested in reactions.

Mrs. Claudia said...

First let me apologize for not replying to comments sooner. Life gets busy sometimes.

robg,

The cock ring he wears is a heavy round metal ring that is 1 1/2 or 1 3/4" in diameter. It does not fall off when not erect, but it can be somewhat painful when fully erect.

pueraria,

My husband evolving into a "macho man" happened after we were married. When we courted he was very attentive. Like most men, once they are married they start to take their wives for granted. My marriage was no exception. Once we were married his "idiot" self came on slowly. We had a child by then so I wanted to stay with him and work it out. I did stay with him and we have worked it out. I hope that answers your question.

To everyone else,
Thank you so much for your comments. I truly appreciate all of them.

MWK said...

I LOVED this post Claudia, and I hope you don't mind, but it was featured in my "MWK Talks Back" podcast.

To listen and/or subscribe check out: http://odeo.com/audio/11205593/view

Thanks for all you do!

gone said...

I hope you don't mind, but I took an except from this post and quoted it in a post at FetishLore. :) It was genius.

Mrs. Claudia said...

Femelle,

Ofcourse I do not mind that you took some for Fetishlore. I will have to pop over there and check out your discussion!!

Hope all is well with you!!

Sir Brian said...

Your site got us thinking and my partner and I have now developed a fully formalised Queen-Knight model, complete with all the trappings of a Kingdom, a Constitution and Laws - which we practise. The two of us have never been happier. Please take a look at my blog where it's all laid out (if the blog author will let me!):
http://queens-knight.typepad.com/

The voice of reason said...

You imply when a random male doesn't hold a door open for you that it offends you, what if the man in in question had a lot on his mind? E.g. He has a relative in hospital with cancer and he's in a rush to see them because they are in a hurry to see them, or he may be autistic and not have a good grasp of social customs. You sound pretty insecure to me if you get this angry about total strangers being forgetful about curtesy, it's just part of life, if you get angry about that then it's your problem, not the strangers.

On one of your other articles you state that men are not 'owed' anything by women yet here you imply that women are naturally entitled to the utmost respect from total strangers, are you even aware of how hypocritical you sound? Your husband must be a man of great patience to put up with a narcissist like you, really. I know women who would read this and find it ridiculous.

This life isn't all about you, your not entitled to anything, same as everyone else, male or female. LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS.