Is BDSM about sex or not???

What a good question! This particular question is probably one of the most debated questions among lifestyle people.

Some people say BDSM has nothing to do with sex, while others say it is all about sex. So what do I think? I personally believe it is a combination of both. Obviously BDSM is a form of foreplay and it can be very sexual. The root to all BDSM activity is what makes you hot! I think where some people get the notion that BDSM is not about sex because of the emotional feelings that are behind BDSM.

Just the other night I was teaching two of my budding Femdoms about Tease and Denial. Now obviously Tease and Denial is all about SEX! You are denying someone the right or ability to have an orgasm until you give them permission. Even though I was doing a Tease and Denial scene, the emotional connection between myself and Madam Tiffany was incredible. It went beyond sex, and it surely went beyond just lust. I can't even describe what it was like but I can tell you everyone in the room felt it and responded. Each one of the other people became either more submissive or more Dominant. It was truly amazing.

Once you leave the bedroom, do all BDSM activities cease? In some cases, YES! BDSM for some people are all about the sex and that is totally fine! They go about their daily lives as normal as can be. Then on Friday or Saturday night they ship off Timmy and Tammy and whip out the ridding crops, rope and canes!! Then when Timmy and Tammy come home, all returns to normal.

Then there are the people where BDSM doesn't stop when they walk out of the bedroom. For them, the power exchange that happened in the bedroom, extends to other areas of their lives. The two practice the sexual part of BDSM and they also practice the non-sexual elements of BDSM. For those people, most would call them 24/7 D/s couples. Even in times when there is no overtly sexual things happening between two people who practice BDSM daily, there is still that element of intimacy and sexuality. If a male sub is doing the laundry he might not have a hard on right there, but he is still doing it for the power exchange and kink that will happen once he is in the bedroom. I do not know of anyone who practices non-sexual BDSM, period!!!

See that is where the "BDSM isn't about sex" view is outside my realm of understanding. I am reading and learning about how BDSM is not about sex but I am not really sold on that theory yet!! I would love to hear from others who think that BDSM is not about sex so I can learn that viewpoint. For me, it is all about sex and it is all about emotions. They both go hand in hand and I just can not see how they don't.

Can't wait to hear from you all!!!!

What exactly is the role of the Dominant? Part 2!

First let me say I LOVE this picture. What a great way to start a cuckolding scene!! This picture has nothing to do with my post today, except to share with you all a little fun treat for a Friday afternoon!! Now onto my post!!

In my previous post I touched on the role of the Relational Dominant, one who is in a full time relationship with her sub or slave. I could go into greater detail but I want to stay to the point of today's post. Another role a Dominant can play is the role of Teacher or Mentor. When I first began researching lifestyle D/s there were only a handful of sites that offered advice to mainly the budding Femdom. Most of the sites out there either catered to the male subs fantasies (ie:porn sites) or were Male Dom / fem sub in nature. While you can learn Dominant attributes from a male Dom, I was really looking for information on Female Dominant / male sub. I found invaluable sites like MsRika.com, Elise Sutton and FemSupreme.com.

Then I found message boards like FemmeDomme.com and various Yahoo Groups. What I lacked was being able to work one on one with an experienced Femdom either online or in person where I lived. I did a post a while ago suggesting that women contact Pro Dommes for lessons which is still a great idea. Depending on where you live though, they can be very expensive and they can also not be lifestyle Femdoms.

I really wanted to learn the relational aspects of Female Domination and integrating it into my marriage. How to figure out what I liked and what I didn't, how to not learn from my husband and how to go about changing my life. A trip to a Pro Domme for an hour would not teach me that. So I muddled through Internet land, read tons of books and basically figured things out myself. Through trial and error I eventually got what I had been wanting. That process could have gone alot smoother if I would have been able to find a mentor and marriage counselor that I could have worked with. I guess kind of like a life coach.

I did find a local person where I live that I consider my mentor and now my best friend. She counseled me and helped me through the hard times and I thank God everyday that her and I clicked like we did. She is a very busy woman and I would like to spend more time with her but I cant, so I take what I can get.

So let me get to the meat of this post. Over the past 6 months or so I have had many, many men and women contact me and ask if I would work with them, either as a couple or individually and act as a mentor or counseling and training coach. In the beginning, I only had a few so I could still handle it. It has gotten to a point now where I am at a crossroads in my life. I have been in a situation where I need to go back to work. I am an accountant and I can make descent money doing that, but my passion lies in helping other couples and individuals transform their lives. I do not have enough time in the day to do both so I have decided to give Counseling and Mentoring a shot. With that said, I have started (really transformed) my website into a couples and counseling site. I have created an area called "Slave Academy" where I will offer Seminars and Workshops, as well as links to my Mentoring and Training Programs.

I guess I am officially now a Fetish Counselor and Life Coach. I do not have anything to offer other than life experience. I am not a licensed therapist but I have changed my entire life and my self esteem is wonderful now. My marriage is better than ever and I feel like I can help other people do the same. I am so excited at the prospects of teaching other women and men how to make their marriage and relationships better!!

Originally I had no idea how much my opinions and experience mattered to people but I have quickly found out how much it does. I now am offering Mentoring and training programs to couples and individuals interested in transforming their lives into D/s based lives. I will be soon offering Seminars and Workshops in Las Vegas to couples and individuals who wish to learn everything from how to spice up their lovemaking to how to transform their entire relationship into a Female Dominant relationship. I really want to save those women out there from learning from their husbands and I want to teach men out there how to approach their wives about their desires the right way.

The Femdomme Society did an interview with me and I will be featured on their site here soon. I am also going to be working with local establishments on holding my retreat and classes hopefully once per month here in Vegas. I am so excited I could scream. So what is the point of this post. Well it is two fold.

First is to get the word out that I am offering to women and couples my assistance and training on how to transform their marriage. I am also trying to get the word out on my upcoming seminars, retreats and workshops in Vegas for people that come here to visit. If you want to look at this post as a advertisement for myself than you would be correct. I really wish I would have come across someone like me, that I could have had work with me in the beginning. To teach me technique, advice on changing and all around person who was experienced in this lifestyle to help me. I feel it is an needed service and I feel I am qualified to offer it.

So that is it. I have my regular website going that is kind of a catch all. It is a regular site that let's people come in an see my interactions and play with my husband, but it also explains more about my training and mentoring programs. I am including a little clip I have done explaining what I offer and how you can learn more. Let me remind everyone that this is my blog and if you think that this post is inappropriate for this venue then to bad. If this was a blog representing anything else then you could say that but it is not. This is my blog about me and my life. I am now officially a Mentor and Fetish Counselor and what better place to include this about myself than MY blog!!

My next post will be on the Carrara Belt coming soon. It was shipped a few weeks ago and it should be delivered anytime now. I am very excited to finally get my subby into something he cant escape from. I just hope it is as good as they claim it is!! I will let you all know!!!

What exactly is the role of the Dominant?

First, I know it has been forever and a day since I have posted anything on this blog: I am not even sure if I have any readers left. Just in case I do, I thought I would share my views on what role the Dominant plays in the D/s relationship.

There are many roles the Dominant plays, ranging from a regular, casual play partner to a full fledged Mentoring and Training Dominant. There are also Dominants that are classified as training submissives, due to the fact that they are Dominants in Training. The role of that type of Dominant is to be submissive to her trainer or Mentor, yet still Dominant to anyone that the training submissive is topping. Wow, confusing huh??

To skip any undo confusion (I will save explanation of training subs and training dommes for my next post) I will stick to explaining what the role of a Dominant is in a relational or marriage based D/s relationship is.

First and foremost a Dominant is there to nurture, guide and protect her submissive or slave. Great responsibility lies at the feet of the Dominant and this is where it is far from fun and games. When a Dominant accepts the service and submission from her husband, fiance or boyfriend, it is very significant. The Dominant needs to realize that she is responsible for the safety and well being of her slave and he is trusting her to not do many things. The submissive is trusting her to not - 1. Take advantage of him. 2. Injure or hurt him (in a bad way) 3. Abandon him, ridicule him. 4. Emotionally, psychologically or physically abuse him or 5. Humiliate him (again in a bad way). It takes great amounts of trust and respect for a submissive to allow the Dominant to take control of his life.

This never happens instantaneously, nor smoothly. The Dominant needs to pay careful attention to her submissive's actions in these early days to see where he is testing her. He can do this in a variety of ways, which usually includes, - 1. Forgetting to do certain tasks. 2. Doing only certain tasks assigned. 3. Misbehaving (to see what she will do). 4. Topping from the bottom and 5. Doing activities he is not allowed to do to see if the Dominant is really all knowing.

Now this is not a textbook kind of thing. Not every sub will do the things on this list, but most will. They want to see if the Dominant is really who they are portraying themselves to be. They want to know, for themselves, if they can really trust that they are completely under the control of another. If life is going well for the Dominant, she will notice right away that her sub is doing these things and rectify it immediately. Well, what should the Dominant do if she is really busy and is not noticing these things or if she is not in the mood to deal with testing?

Simple, COMMUNICATE. Sit down with your subby and have a little heart to heart. Remind him that you are in control and the tasks and duties you have given them are in place to HELP YOU! Whenever you dish out tasks that are meant to make your life easier, it is the responsibility of the sub to do those tasks to the best of his ability! This is not the time to test the Dominant, but to be even more pleasing and helpful to her. Explain to your sub that you know he is testing you, and there is no need for it. Explain to him again (it usually helps if he is hogtied and gagged on the floor at your feet!!!! ha!ha!) that his purpose is to be obedient, honest and most of all pleasing to You.

Then assess if you are slacking in your attention and follow through with him. If you are, set aside a certain amount of time each week to devote to your slave. He is a prized possession and one you need to honor and respect. Little things can be done each day to reinforce the D/s dynamic. As an example, I am extremely busy getting my counseling and Femdom Community site off the ground. I have also partnered with another local Femdom on a new group we are starting and I am so busy I can barely go to the bathroom. My poor slave has been neglected and he has done everything he can to tell me so. I heard him and I responded. This morning after he served me my coffee and did his foot worship, I made him lay there on the floor longer than normal and I teased him a little while. This little act of attention let him know that he is my priority and that I want to be with him. How much do you want to bet a little more attention like that will get him back on track in no time.!!!

It seems really complicated but when you break it down into the simplest form, it really isn't. It is all about the love and adoration I need, and the love and respect he needs. After all, we are all still human!!

The significance of the collar!

(Note: These pictures were taken from the video. I had professional pictures taken that will show us much clearer. I just couldn't wait to get this posted)

I know I haven’t posted in a while, so I have some good news!! First I want to explain a little about what a collaring means to me.

There is nothing more significant to a submissive than to be “owned” by their Master or Mistress. In the world of Dominance and submission, the collar represents ownership and clearly defines the commitment between the Domme and sub. For the Domme, the collar represents her property. In a public, lifestyle friendly environment, other Dommes and subs will know that your slave is owned. Basically, your submissive has been taken off the market.

Now the private meaning behind the collar.

The collar represents commitment and devotion between the Domme and sub. The Domme, by collaring her sub, is agreeing to lead, guide, protect, love (if that kind of relationship has been established) and give purpose and meaning to the slave. The commitment from the slave is of devotion, obedience, worship, adoration and complete surrender. In my particular relationship, we are married and my husband is collared to me. In a vanilla marriage, property and day to day responsibilities are split 50/50. If one partner fails to give their 50%, trouble occurs in the marriage. In a Master/slave relationship, the expectations of the relationship are well defined. It is known that all property resorts to the Dominant. Control of the entire relationship lands at the feet of the Dominant and from there the Domme decides which tasks are best handled by which partner. There is no power struggle.

Becoming a slave does not strip the submissive of all responsibility. That is purely fiction and internet land bullshit. My slaves #1 priority is to make my life easier. He is here to serve me. I do not order him around everyday, directing his every move. How does that benefit me? All that does is cause more and more work for me. I expect him to think, act and react to everything with my best interest in mind. Oh, it might be nice to be in the “Story of O” for a weekend, but come Monday my slave is back to reality.

So, to wrap this up, It is done – I have collared my darling hubby. I did a post about 6 months ago and found out that my darling had a ways to go. It officially took me a year to break down his walls and rebuild the trust that had been shattered for so long. That rebuilding went both ways. I am no angel, I have done enough to be untrustworthy. I cried like a baby at the collaring. I never thought my relationship with my husband would ever be strong enough for a collar. I was wrong. The ultimate service and gift a submissive can give a Domme is his submission. It is a gift, freely given. It is not something I can take. I did push him to surrender but in the end it was a decision he made. It showed me how much he trusts me and adores me. He trusts me with his life and that means the world to me. It was a beautiful ceremony. I have captured some pics from the video. I hope you all enjoy them. The collar is around my darlings neck and he is out of town on a family emergency. I will take some pics of it and post it later. I also see that you can upload video. Maybe I'll upload a little clip of the collaring. Like I said, it was beautiful. Did I mention I cried like a baby???

I have scheduled a time each week to update the blog. I have been so busy lately with the website and the collaring I haven’t had time to breath. I have been thinking about a post on “What is the role of the Domme”. I have had that question posed to me by a very smart submissive. Mine to be exact and I think it is a great question. Look for that post next week!!!

Does this stuff look familiar?? CBT Tape.

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Friday night with a beautiful blond!!

First let me say that I do not drink wine and for good reason! When I am done telling you about my fun with a hot little blond fem-sub you will know why. There was a party being held at one of our friends homes who just moved into a new house. One of my favorite Masters was there, Master Len. I have tremendous admiration for this man. He has over 30 experience in BDSM and above all he is so much fun! Last Friday night at my friends house warming party he brought one of his hot little fem-subs. Before long she was naked and the center of attention. This position is usually reserved for my hubby, being the naked sub at the center of attention, but this night Master Len's sub beat him to it. She was about 5'5", 115#'s, 34DD and a 26" waist. She is blond with nice golden brown skin. She is delicious!!

I had just finished eating and was drinking Coke and whiskey which I am fine with. I think I was a man in a previous life because I can drink beer and whiskey with the best of them. Give me a glass of wine and I am on the floor drunk. So before I knew it, I was being offered this hot ass fem-sub to play a little game with. The instructions were simple, she was to not move no matter what, and I could do anything I wanted to try and get her to move. No problem. At first the rule was I wasn't allowed to touch her. Again, no problem, my words alone can do the job (just ask my little slut!!).

ML revised the rules and said I could touch her if I wanted. Even better! I had her bend over in front of me, she had her hands tied behind her back, and I pushed her face down into my darling subby's crotch. Now remember, I don't let him cum very often and I believe he hadn't cum in almost 8 days. I told her to blow and hum into his crotch and to not stop until I instructed. I proceeded to bit and lick her ass and grab her rope (she also had some between her legs) and pull in just the right spots. It didn't take long before she moved.

Once she moved that was it - time for a spanking. She laid across my lap with her head inches away from my feet and I proceeded to whack her ass over and over with my bare hand. Mistress Kali decided to get into the action and she came over and sat with her legs spread right in front of her face and spanked her right ass cheek as I spanked her left cheek. The next thing I knew the little slut sub bit Mistress Kali on her inner thigh. OMG - HUGE Mistake!! Mistress Kali whacked her so hard it immediately left a bruise and nice hand print. The little slut started begging for forgiveness immediately. That was enough of that for now.

Later on that night I decided to have a glass of wine - mistake #2. Out of nowhere that wine hit me and I was totally wasted. I had this hot little slut in front of me and I was teasing her and playing with her perfect tits. I noticed out of the corner of my eye a fellow male-sub staring and I took full advantage of that and teased and taunted him while he watched in total awe. Looking back I am completely pissed at myself for having that wine. This would have been a perfect situation to totally tease and torture my slut hubby. If I wasn't totally incapacitated I would have taken the fem-sub and my hubby and tied them together. Then I would have fucked with each one until they were begging for release, only to deny them both.

I have already decided that this little slut will be mine for a night again soon. Only next time, my darling will be forced to watch me do all kinds of dirty things to her. Maybe I'll wait for the Carrara belt to come in and lock him up and then fuck her while she is tied to him. Or better yet, I'll tie him to a chair positioned just at the end of the bed and then make his face be smothered in my ass while I lick her body from head to toe. I could go on and on. Yes, she will definitely be a nice little toy for me to play with. I'll keep you all updated on my next rendezvous with her.

Updates - Updates: What's been happening in my world!!

Well a lot has been happening in the past few weeks, when I wasn't sick that is. First let me start with the Kinky Karnival. This year in cash donations alone we raised over $5,000 and that doesn't count all the school supplies that were donated. I couldn't believe how many people were there, the turnout was exceptional. Now onto the good parts.

I did the kissing booth for 20 minutes. I was actually shocked, it seems I am a favorite among women, go figure?? I had the pleasure of playing kissy face with some of my fellow female kinksters. There were pics taken of this but I have yet to find the gentleman who took them. Once I find him I will have some delicious pics to share with everyone. There was one femsub in particular that I enjoyed. I will not share names but she knows who she is. Watch yourself my little slut, your ass looks like it needs some bitting (wink).

After making out with my femsub slut, I went into the jail to torment and tease her and my darling subby more. I didn't get the opportunity to be the marshall, but I did get a chance to play with some captives. First my femsub slut was tied to the wall face forward by her Master. Then I took some ice in my mouth and began to lick her just above her ass. My tongue was naturally very cold which she didn't expect. Then I grabbed her by her pigtails (she was a school girl slut that evening) and ran my hand down her back and between her legs. I thought she would melt just from me talking to her. Then I slid down her back and starting bitting and licking her ass. She was so much fun!!

Then my subby was arrested and tied to the wall in the jail. He was so cute, there were eyebolts hooked in the wall with rope hanging from them. I tied his hands and in about 2 seconds the eyebolt came loose. He offered to pretend to be secured to the wall but by then the moment was over. Before the eyebolt broke, a swiss army knife was attached to the leash hanging from his cock collar. Since it was public I was limited in what I could do to him, rats!!

I grabbed him by his cock leash and went to do the fashion show. I was wearing a nice leather strapless corset and a little mini leather skirt. I topped off the outfit with my diamond fishnet stockings and my "cock crusher pumps" which shows the arch of my foot very nicely.

Here is a little peak of my stockings and favorite shoes. Once the fashion show was over we sat down and began the auction. While the auction was going on I had my subby in front of me. It was a perfect picture moment and I had one of our very good friends snap a few pics.

I am just realizing that I have never posted pics of us where you could see our faces. I am not going to use a pic that shows my darling's face, but all the pics I have of that night have me in them. I guess I am not really worried about people seeing me. I am happier than I have ever been and I am proud of my lifestyle and my marriage. So here goes everyone...........................

Me with my darling subby where he belongs. This was the best picture from that night so I added a little mask to his face. I do have to say he is the hotest man I have ever known. Wouldn't you all agree??

So that was our evening. The last thing I will mention was the dildo toss. It ended up being the most popular event that evening. There were 5 different dildo's attached to a table of various sizes. Pretty much like horseshoes, you took a band of rings and tossed them over the dildo's. If you got your rings around the dildo's you won a chance to have your name drawn for Penn and Teller tickets at the MGM Grand. I am not sure of the exact figure this booth brought in but I know it was the most popular booth that night. Good job!!

Stay tuned for my next few posts. I had a very nice weekend following the Kinky Karnival where I got to have a little fun with a beautiful blond femsub. She was feisty, fun and beautiful. What more could you ask for??

Finally - I'm feeling much better!!!

Well I am finally feeling better (yeah!!). I have been sick on and off for the past few weeks but that is all done now (cross your fingers)!! I got some really good news today that could prove to be another sign of my future!!

Let me give a little bit of history!! For about 6 months, I had been teetering with the idea of starting a real life amatuerFemDom website that showed what life was like between a real FemDom couple. When the day came that I decided to create my site, I saw a friend I hadn't seen in about 8 years. His name is Master Len and he owns Fetish websites and produces real Fetish videos. It was literally the day I made the decision that I saw him at a surprise birthday party I attended. I had n0 idea that my friend made these kinds of movies or ran fetish websites. He generously offered to help me in any way he could and even offered to produce my first few videos so I could see how it is done. Talk about a sign!! You can learn more about Master Len here! (I recommend anything with Nicole)

Now, I have been contemplating learning more BDSM techniques lately and low and behold I got an email from a very good friend this morning letting me know she is moving back to Vegas (YEAH). Could this be another sign?? If any of you aren't familiar with Lady Ice Queen check out her sites. She's great!!!

Her Diary:
Her Yahoo Group:
Her My-Space Page
Her Website


As most of you know, I am very responsible when it comes to practicing BDSM. I feel very strongly about learning techniques from others and not just learning on my own. This will also help me to better my website through teaching videos for fellow budding FemDom's who don't have the luxury of joining local support groups. I will be creating a Couples educational site that will be free and funded by my FemDom site.

Life is so great when things come together naturally. I know from experience that when you go against your destiny (if you believe in that kind of stuff) life can become very chaotic and frustrating. For years I went against destiny and experienced misery. Not any more, life is finally flowing, finally!!!

I have had some fun over the past week or so that I haven't shared yet. Now that I am feeling better, I can articulate the fun and devilish things I have been up to lately. Stay tuned for my next few posts. It will be chocked full of blonds with nice big tits and subby's denied for two weeks and then only granted a smidgen of relief. I also have some pics from the Kinky Karnival I haven't shared yet. Wow, where to begin??

Stay tuned.........

Stupid, pathetic, idiot MEN!!! I hope you don't have one of these!!

Why do some men think life is all about them? Why do they think that they are "owed" certain things because they supposedly "love their Wives"? Then they think their Wives are prudish or not interested in Ds? These guys are total fucking losers. No matter what, they will not find fulfilment or happiness because it is all about THEM!!! Well what about their Wives? Why shouldn't it be also about them?? If these loser husbands have the audacity to think that as long as they say "Hey honey, I love you and I have been around for 20 years" that should be enough they have another thing coming!! They say to them selves "Oh, come on baby, what is your problem. I want to pretend to be submissive as long as you do exactly what I want you to do and I don't have to do anything else but be the center of the universe. Fuck you honey, it should be good enough that I grace you with my presence everyday. Don't you know wifey, this marriage is all about me and what you can do for ME!! And let me tell you something, if you don't do exactly what I want, when I want it, I will treat you even more like shit, ignore you completely and go off and live in some fantasy land where I can pretend to be at the mercy of some woman, just as long as she is also making everything about me."

Men like this are so totally fucking pathetic it is scary. I feel so bad for their Wives, these women could be married to someone who adores and appreciates them. These women could have everything they have ever dreamed of, if they would just kick these losers to the curb and actually find someone who would treat them like Queens. If there are any wives reading this and this is hitting close to home, I have this to say: YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS. YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED, CHERISHED AND ADORED. YOU DESERVE TOTAL ADORATION FROM THE MAN IN YOUR LIFE. YOU DO!!!!!!!!!

People think I hate internet fantasy land, and this proves why I do. These guys go and look at sites that make it all about them. They think that women want to go around giving endless attention to these pathetic men, without getting anything in return. Who the hell would want to do anything where they don't get something out of it?? A man who thinks his Wife will want to tease him daily, denying his orgasms and not give her anything back is totally living in fantasy land. If the husband isn't going to put his Wife on a pedestal and make her feel attractive, adored and cherished, why does he think she will ever want to anything for him??

I am not even talking about having to live a supposed 24/7 D/s marriage. Not everyone in this lifestyle wants it to be all the time. I am talking about making your Wife feel like she did when you first met. I am talking about not taking her for granted and not making everything about you. When you married didn't you say you would "Love, honor and CHERISH??" Did that go out the window the minute your Wife had nothing left to give? Don't you realize that you will end up happier in the end if you adore and cherish your Wife?? Don't you realize that she will WANT to take more control of you if you make her feel attractive and special? I guess not!!

In my marriage, I feel loved and cherished. My husband makes me feel like I am his whole world, showing me respect and adoration. He doesn't go around doing everything for me and he has his own personality. He gets a lot out of this marriage because he gives. By him giving to me, it gives me the energy and desire to give back to him. Women in general are very giving creatures, but they can't give if they aren't being replenished. That is the husbands job - to replenish!!

I guess I am done ranting and raving. I have one thing more to say to these men - stay in your little world, jacking off to thoughts of the whole world revolving around you and you not ever having to do anything but take, take, take. I can promise you that no woman, unless she is paid, will ever want to do anything remotely Ds with you. You have nothing to give because you are a leach, sucking the very life out of your Wives. Taking what you can and never giving anything back. You are right where you deserve to be - in a pathetic , miserable world. I hope you are happy!!! LOSER!!!

Kinky Karnival 2007 is here!!

The 2007 Kinky Karnival is almost here. It takes place Saturday July 28th at 8:00 pm. There will be fun and games for all. It is a fundraiser for the St. Therese Foundation. This foundation helps raise money for children who's parents suffer from AIDS. I will be participating in a few of the booths throughout the evening.

I will be manning the Jail where I will go and arrest Dom/mes and subby sluts who need punishment. The only way the arrested party can escape my wrath is if they are bailed out. If they aren't they are at my mercy for a 1/2 hour. I have already made a rule that my personal little slut may not be bailed out.

Then I will be at the kissing booth for 20 minutes where you may kiss me (wherever I say) for a donation. Get your lips ready for some serious body worship sluts!

Finally, I will be doing the Fashion Show where our delicious Lady C's Leather will be having Ms. Kali Ward and I show off her wonderful leather wear. I promise it will be HOT, HOT, HOT!!

So, if anyone lives in Vegas, or is close enough to come by, please join us this Saturday at the Ramrood in Vegas. The address is: 900 Karen Ave. Las Vegas, NV

Here is the link to the Kinky Karnival website for anyone interested in attending. Again, I promise it will be a great time!!

Kisses,
Mrs. Claudia

Chastity is coming!!! I am ordering the Carrara Belt this week!!

Well, I have finally made the decision to order a steel chastity belt for my little slut. So far we have tried the CB3000, the Exobelt and Mistress Lori's Chastity Tube. I really think the Lori's tube would have worked very well, but my darlings piercing got massively infected. He ended up being in the hospital for a week and then on IV antibiotics for an additional 2 weeks outside the hospital. In researching my options, the only choice I have left, if I want him in real chastity, is to go for one of the belted chastity devices made of steel. The more I think about it, the more I want there to be no way he can access any genital parts without my permission. There are so many ways for a guy to be able to cum, direct penile stimulation is just one. If his ass and balls are accessible, with a little imagination and tools, he could orgasm. Now for me, the whole purpose of being in chastity is so he CAN'T ORGASM WITHOUT MY DIRECT PERMISSION.

Chastity does go beyond that for me though. The mind fucks I could and would inflict on him are very devilish. Once I have him locked away, in a contraption where nothing, including the balls and ass can be accessed, I will taunt and tease him that if I choose he might NEVER be allowed to touch or see his cock again. Now talk about a mind fuck. I love playing with my subbys cock and I love having good ole fashioned sex with him. I won't keep him locked up forever, but the threat is still there. Oh, the games I will play!

Well here it is, the Carrara Belt made by Walter Goethals. I have done much research, and since the Mistress Lori's tube didn't work out, the next step is to go with a steel belt. I have decided to order the Carrara Concept belt, which covers the cock and balls. In addition, I am going to order the rear guard, which locks on from the outside, preventing him any anal stimulation. Then the final touch, I will also be getting the outside dildo attachment so I can force him to have intercourse with me while still being all locked away.

Add on with Dildo attachment and Rear Guard to prevent anal stimulation!!

I have had many discussions that a devoted male submissive should remain chaste because that is his Dommes wish. This is very true, and for the past 9 months, he has been obedient in that department. I am going to use Chastity as a total mind fuck with him. There is so much difference when there is force to do something. A large part of my desire is to take my husbands options away from him. I want him to know with all his heart that I "own" his cock, just as I own every other part of him. I am taking this "ownership" of a cock a little further by forcing him into inescapable chastity. Simple!

I also love tease and denial, and if I want to achieve him going months without orgasm's, with me teasing him relentlessly almost every night, physical chastity is a must. There is only so much a man can go through, regardless if he is submissive or not. This is something I want to force, and I can only force it the way I want, through this device.

I am very excited about ordering it. I have researched this particular device since November 2006. Initially, I wanted to try the less expensive brands, but now I have the justification for spending this kind of money. This belt is very expensive, but it will be well worth it. I can't wait to have him locked up, the key hanging on some part of my body, his entire groin area locked away, completely at my mercy and torture for as long as I choose. I am getting hot just thinking about it. I'll definitely keep everyone posted on my progress.

To cuckold or not to cuckold?? Decisions, decisions!!

Lately I have been fantasizing more and more about cuckolding my darling hubby. It is not that I don't love having sex with my husband or that I want to have sex with another man. For me, that is not what is so arousing about cuckolding. What I find totally and utterly arousing is the forcing aspect of cuckolding. See, I wouldn't be the type of Wife that had her sub get her ready for a date and then leave him locked in a cage while I was off having fantastic sex with someone else. Oh no! I would have him front and center, getting up close and personal in the action. The whole point of cuckolding to me would be the utter humiliation and complete control of the act. Forcing him to be tied up to a chair, gagged and forced to look me in the eye while I was enjoying some young, hot stud. But my attraction to this activity goes further than that.

I, like my fellow blogger Catwoman, have had a long standing fantasy of doing a forced Bi scene on my subby. I want to take the forced bi scene a little further and actually make my sub participate in my sexual adventure with another. I want to use him as my little fluffer and then force him to be tied to the end of the bed so he is right there as close to the action as possible. Then once the young stud is ready to cum, use my subby as the cum catcher. What makes this even more delectable is that my darling is not in the least bit bi-curious. He has no fantasies about having any kind of sex with another man. He does love to be forced to do pretty much anything and I will use this little kink of his to it's fullest!!

In reading about cuckolding on the internet, I have noticed that most of the bulls are just regular guys or Dom's themselves. I know there is no right or wrong way to do this if I choose to cuckold my hubby, but I am looking to have my bull a submissive too. The perfect cuckolding experience for me would be another single submissive male who I am also forcing to do dirty, nasty things in order to have sex with me. I would find a nice, handsome, heterosexual guy who I can mind fuck too. He would also be a little homophobic and would not have any real fantasies about being with another man. I want the battle in his mind to be real and I want him to have to fight with himself when I force him to beg me for his cock to be sucked by another man. YUMMY!!

How HOT would it be to have my subby tied to a chair in the corner, being forced to watch his wife dominate her lover, taunting and teasing him, until he begged me to let my husband suck his cock! Then turn my attention on my chair bound darling, and taunt and tease him until he is begging to suck my lovers cock. Like I said in my "Tease and Denial" post, you can get a man to promise anything, and I mean anything, when he wants to cum and his orgasmic fate in is your hands!

Here is a totally FUCKING hot picture. I hope you all like it. And for all you prudes that are offended by pornographic images I have this to say: "How the hell can you practice FemDom or anything kinky, and yet be offended by porn?? Put away your prejudice and open up your mind! You might even find it totally HOT!!"

OK, here you go!!

Told you, pretty hot huh? I know it could be potentially disastrous to our marriage if the cuckolding thing was to backfire. I have had many good friends that were swingers and none of them are still married. They are all divorced!! As unbelievably hot as it might sound, I will have to make sure my marriage, and the bond we have as a D/s couple, is strong enough to handle bringing a third person into the relationship. I would never make cuckolding a regular part of my marriage, but every once in a while I think all it would do is deepen the control I have over my husband. Once I have implemented real time chastity, coupled with long term tease and denial, cuckolding is the next logical place my desires will go. When you get into the reality of this desire it gets a little more complicated. Living in the times we live in, we have all kinds of things to worry about. Safe sex is one of them. Can I really live out this to its fullest when you have to worry about STD's and AIDS?? Is it realistic to require testing on any potential partners? It has been 13 years since I have had to worry about diseases. I guess I will worry about that when it closer to becoming a reality.

I know there are a few FemDom's that practice this in their marriages and relationships. I would love to hear from you on the benefits and pitfalls of bringing this into your relationship. Cuckolding is still a ways away from becoming any kind of a reality in my life, but it is on the horizon. I can feel it in my bones!!

Is a 24/7 D/s relationship realistic???

Over the past few days the topic of Total Power Exchange has come up in conversation with a few different people. At Midori, she posed the question "Is there such a thing as a 24/7 TPE relationship?" The audience gave mixed answers and, if I had to guess, I would say the answer was 50/50. She answered with a resounding "NO"!! She went on to give this example: If the Dominant was to order the submissive to hold their breath indefinitely, would the submissive be able to obey? Well the answer is obvious - NO! The human body would take over and, after the sub passed out, the body would resume breathing. I thought that answer didn't really make a good case for a TPE not being possible.

When I think of 24/7 D/s or Total Power Exchange, I think of what the submissive is CAPABLE of giving control of over to the Dominant. I think of things like: sex, financial decisions, parenting decisions, free time decisions, etc. I do not think of things the submissive does not have any control over, which would include bodily functions. Yes, the submissive can give over urinating and defecating, where permission has to be given before evacuation can be made, but what if the Dominant does not ever give permission to use the bathroom? Eventually the submissive will make a huge mess. So, does he or she really have control over that function? NO!!

I am just starting to read more about TPE (total power exchange) so I am by no means an expert on the subject. I have also been asked lately if I am ever just "normal" with my husband. Where we are equals? I have been thinking about this and I have come to the following observations. First, in any relationship there is a dominant and submissive balance. Even with friends, usually one is more dominant in the relationship than the other. In my marriage, I have more control over CERTAIN aspects of the marriage. This has always been though. In the past, before D/s, if I wanted to watch a particular program on TV, in the end we would end up watching what I wanted. There might have been arguing and pouting, but I would have gotten what I wanted. The only difference now is I am being freely given the right to watch whatever I want, with none of the arguing or pouting. Presto, D/s is born in our marriage. What is different - the mindset of the parties involved. My husband made a decision to hand over his power, which includes his arguing, pouting and generally unlikable behaviour. He sees it now as a gift he is giving me, instead of something I am taking from him. On the surface the only thing that has changed is him.

Some people say that the submissive is really the one in control. Actually it takes both to make it work. The sub has to be willing to give control and the Domme has to be willing to take control. I like to look at it a little different - the submissive is freely giving up his rights to control and giving it to the Dominant. This is what makes it a gift. In a relationship where the D/s is strictly in the bedroom, the submissive is still giving up his right to control the situation. Once the Dominant accepts that gift, a power exchange has occurred. Pretty simple. Well the same thing happens in a lifestyle or 24/7 D/s relationship. Instead of the submissive saying "OK, I will give you the power to do whatever you want for the next hour", the 24/7 lifestyle submissive is saying "OK, I will give you the power to do whatever you want for our entire relationship".

In any marriage there is a Dominant partner and a submissive partner. Society tells us that the man is the Dominant and the wife is the submissive. When people think of a regular marriage, where there is no D/s, they see that as completely normal. They do not think that the woman is sitting at the man's feet waiting to be given permission to speak. So why do people think that in a FemDom marriage, it is not just as normal as a vanilla marriage? Like Ms. Rika says "We are no different!" My husband does not sit at my feet every night, not allowed to speak or change the channel on the TV. The only difference between us and "regular" folks is I am being given the power to have my husband sit at my feet when I want. I have been given the power to make the final decision on certain things, like anything to do with this lifestyle. I decide when and how we have sex. I decide when and if my husband gets to orgasm. I decide who will cook in our household. My husband still decides when the bills get paid, when he goes to work, what he eats and when he speaks.

When we go to dinner or the movies, we still hold hands. He walks beside me and acts like a gentleman, opening doors and pulling out my chair. We are a lifestyle FemDom couple but in most cases you can't tell us apart from all the other "vanilla" couples. I decide how, when and where we have our power exchange and to what extent. If we are going out to dinner and I specifically tell my husband that he is to ask permission for everything while we are out, that is just a game I play with him, to exaggerate the level of control. I have the power in the relationship to do that. If we go to dinner and I do not make him ask permission for everything does that mean we are acting "normal"? No, it just means the level of control I am enforcing is that he doesn't have to ask permission for anything, that in itself is control.

So the bottom line is the mindset. There is never any question who is in control of our marriage and everything it encompasses. My final word is law, period. Most days our interactions are just as normal as any other couple out there. There is just a firm understanding that I make the rules and whatever those rules are, my husband is to obey them. When he is unsure of a rule, it is his place to get clarification and it is my place to communicate with him what I am expecting. On most days we seem as normal as anyone else. Actually we are quite different. We are madly in love and anyone that is within 500 yards can tell that. More than 50% of marriages end in divorce, maybe those "vanilla" couples should be more like us!! One can only hope!

Our weekend - Eggs, Midori and the Crown Suite! Part 2!

I am a little bummed out right now. I could have sworn I took pictures of the suite we had this weekend but I guess I didn't. I just unloaded my digital camera and all I have a dirty pictures of my darling hubby. I would share but I don't think he would be very appreciative. So I am going to describe the suite as best as I can. I found a picture of the downstairs portion of the suite, but I will tell you right now this picture does not do this suite justice.

I have already decided that the collaring we are doing in September will be done at this hotel. The Alexis Park Resort is a non-gaming resort located across the street from the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. Since there is no casino, it is not as popular with out of town guests like the other hotels. If you are not bothered with having to walk across the street to gamble, then this hotel is a total winner. Now the Crown Suite, I think, was planned by a kinky architect. It offers two stories with a wrought iron banister going to the second floor. On the stairs is a jacuzzi with metal railing around it. There were so many places to tie up my hubby my head was spinning. Then the bar stools and dinning table chairs also had wrought iron to tie to. Bliss!!!

Here is a sketch of the room, which also doesn't do it justice. Upstairs there is a loft bedroom with a fireplace. The only thing I didn't like about the king bed was no frame. This was of little concern, seeing all the other options I had for restraining my intended victim.

Finally, the coffee table had a stone top with more wrought iron for tying. I wish I had a week to spend in this place. The wheels are already set in motion to have our collaring at the larger two story suite, the Regal.

So onto a little of what our weekend entailed. First thing Friday night, I started with the table. Since I am such a nice Lady, I had a towel tied to the table for better comfort. I began with a nice leather ball stretcher, thanking Ms160 for the eye candy Friday. I went out and got myself a nice little black ball stretcher and some weights. After everything was stretched and bulging, I had him lay down on the table for some good old fashioned teasing. After about 2 hours of completely fucking with him, he was allowed to cum. It was late and time for bed. We had a big weekend in front of us.

Saturday morning I woke up ready to play. This time a "Gates of Hell" was put on and a nice little leash was attached. Most of the morning, he crawled around on all fours, fetching me various instruments to tease and torture him with. What was priceless was watching him crawl up the stairs, leash in mouth, for the fourth or fifth time. Next time I think I will supply knee pads (wink!!).

We were off for a long day at the Rack with our friends and when we got back to the hotel Ms. Kali and her submissive joined us for some flogging practice. After some drinks and good ole' fashioned laughter, we retired to bed for some kinky style love making. There was tons of moaning and begging. When I woke up I was ready for my day of pampering. My husband had bought special "pampering" stuff for our weekend. I got champagne, bubble bath, sparkly lotion and spray gel. Sunday morning he bathed me in the jacuzzi located in the middle of the stairs, with the railing. While I laid there, basking in my nice smelling bubbles, he was my eye candy, handcuffed to the rail. Again we ran out of time and had to go to the Rack.

Next time, I am locking us away in that fabulous room so it can be used to it's fullest advantage. I won't forget to take pictures so you can see how nice this room is. It was one of the best weekends I have had with my husband and submissive in a while. Much deserved by us both!!

Our weekend - Eggs, Midori and the Crown Suite!

This post is going to be in two sections. The first will describe our Midori experience. The second will describe our weekend at the Crown Suite at the Alexis Park Resort.

Now, Onto my first post!!!

As I posted earlier, Fetish Diva Midori came to Las Vegas this past weekend. First, I would like to thank Mateo at Nawa Yoi for bringing Midori to Las Vegas. He did a fabulous job organizing and orchestrating the entire event. There were so many people that helped make this weekend spectacular.

I decided to make this weekend extra special for my darling subby. He has been through so much lately so I took the opportunity and made it into a real special weekend. More on that in the next post!

Let me start with the Midori event. Saturday was nice, beginning with Beyond Twisted. It was a class explaining the different combinations of lifestyle persona's. She explained things so well, breaking it down into the basic, well known categories: Dominant, submissive, Sadist, masochist, switch, Top and bottom. She then described in detail the combinations that make up the personalities in our lifestyle. Very informative, especially for those who play with different people. I have learned that I am in a few different categories: I am a regular ole' Dominant, which is my prominent character. Then I also am at some times, a Dominant Sadist. Another one I already knew. What threw me for a loop was when she explained the Dominant masochist. At first I didn't think I was but then she explained.

"What about when a Dominant or Top instructs the submissive or bottom to massage the Domme with a flogger or use hot wax?" Doesn't this make the Domme a masochist too? Well shit, I guess it does. I would have never taken myself for a masochist, as I HATE pain, but I do LOVE hot wax and floggers, go figure!! Then finally I am a Domme in training. Ms. Kali Ward is training me which actually puts me in a "service sub" or "Training Top" capacity. Very interesting class.

Then the second class was Foot Pampering. She gave home made recipes for creams, soaks and scrubs. All of them are completely edible which is perfect for the licking portion of the pampering. I was thoroughly pampered and spoiled, ending the nice massage with some well deserved toe sucking and licking. It was very hot!!! Mostly though, this class was like something you would have watched on Real Sex. It was not really lifestyle in the way I thought it would be.

Then Sunday was my most favorite class - PREDICAMENT BONDAGE!!! First, I was originally scheduled to be the female volunteer. After much discussion with Midori and my husband, it was decided that I was not the right person for the presentation. I am not a bondage enthusiast on the receiving end. I do not sit around dreaming of being tied up - I dream about being the rigger! I do, on the other hand, have the perfect little subby for the job - my husband. He LOVES being in bondage and predicament bondage is perfect for him. He is an escape artist and I specifically took this class to learn. It was friggin' priceless. The Rack had a suspension system that hooks a sex swing to it. It is perfect for predicament bondage and I am including a picture for your viewing pleasure. It is on my list of toys to get. It completely breaks down and can be stored in a closet. Here is a picture of it!!

Midori first tied his cock and balls up and placed a spreader bar between his legs. Then she placed nipple clamps on him, that had been tied to a large O ring attached to the top of the swing. Then she placed a pitcher of water in his right hand and had his left hand tied so if he moved his arms, it pulled on the nipple clamps. She of course had him pour her a few glasses of water. When he would try and straighten his legs it would tighten the rope around his balls, but when he would try and kneel lower it would pull on his nipple clamps. So wicked. Then she added raw eggs. She placed one under his arm that had the pitcher of water in it and one under his right foot. Then she tied scissors just out of reach so if he tried to get them, it would pull everything. Lastly, she removed the egg under his foot and placed it between his ass cheeks. He was instructed to not break or drop either egg. He was then told he could cut himself free if he could get the scissors. It was priceless, I wish I could have taken pictures.

So that was Midori. Stay tuned for the other half of our weekend!!

Tease and Denial. What's in it for the Domme???

One of my all time favorite playtime activities is Tease and Denial. When I first starting learning about this I was fascinated. I actually learned that this was a huge turn on for me even before I started my D/s lifestyle. It started at night when my husband and I would lie in bed together and I would lazily run my arm across his cock. At first I didn't even realize I was doing it.

Then I would start tickling his thighs and lower stomach, always sliding my arm and fingers past his cock or balls. Before I knew it he would start to breath heavily when I would do this. I began to do more and more caressing around his privates but not actually making direct contact. After a while I took it farther and would slide my hand over him and he would almost jump, trying desperately to get better contact with my hand. When he would do this I would stop. "You will just lie there and be still and quiet." Of course he did and before I knew it he was promising all kinds of things, trying to get me to go farther.

Wow, it is amazing what you can get a man to do when you tease him. Hence the benefit for the Domme. I was watching a supposed Tease and Denial video last night that was nothing more than a porn tagged as a tease and denial. The woman had the guy gagged and tied to the bed and then she proceeded to "tease" him for about 45 minutes. She even licked his cum off of him after she had let him cum!! Yeah right. The only one licking cum after one of our play sessions is my submissive!!!

As I was watching this all I kept thinking is "I hope the male submissive does not think this is what tease and denial is like!!" She was exerting 150% of her attention on him and he just layed back and enjoyed. Well, not in my world. See when you get a man so desperate to orgasm and you deny him that privilege, you can get him to say and do all kinds of things. This is where the benefit of the Domme truly comes into play.

First, you can get your submissive to a place he is willing to do pretty much anything, even things he wouldn't necessarily do otherwise. Humiliation play works really well at this point. For years and years men have complained that women don't swallow. Well, this is his opportunity to see why women don't like to swallow. Make him beg you to eat his cum off a dildo in order for him to be allowed to cum. Get him to promise that he will wash the toilets, naked with a toothbrush. Make him promise whatever you want. I promise he will comply. I am into getting him to do some pretty nasty things. You must make him do whatever you made him promise. If you don't, he will say yes to anything knowing you won't follow through. You can also follow through sometimes and not others. This works well when you get him to promise something really humiliating, he thinks you won't follow through, and then you do. Wicked I know!!

The best thing I like to do it keep him in a state of arousal for days. If you do this you will find that he becomes very attentive. The power a woman has over a man is priceless. The power that comes from knowing you can call him at work and say one nasty word and he is in instant arousal is HOT. Especially if you time it when he is in a meeting. You can make this game last as long as you like. After 3 or 4 days, a chastity device really helps to deepen the knowledge the submissive has that he is under your complete control. When you are first starting your D/s relationship, the strong D/s bond is still forming. It would be totally naive to think you could do a prolonged tease and denial play with your submissive and he would not cheat. He is just not trained well enough to have that kind of discipline!!

Other things you can do when you are playing tease and denial games is conditioning. For me, my subby is not a pain slut or masochist at all. I on the other hand am interested in more pain play. When you have a submissive you are trying to play with that doesn't necessarily enjoy pain you can have him experience this while he is ultra aroused. I love CBT. My darling likes certain less painful forms of CBT but where is the fun in that?? Then making him beg for you to do something he would never want deepens that Dominant / submissive bond. He truly has to grapple with himself to give you that power.

Then there are the mind fucks. When you have them tied down and blindfolded try this. Tease him that if he chooses not to do as you say, you will let him cum but it won't be very nice. Open a tube of Ben Gay and let him smell it. Then make him tell you what you have. Then tell him that if he doesn't comply you are going to spread it all over his nice hard cock and jack him off with it. It he is a feisty sub at all he will test you. This is when you pull out some warming lube. If you keep the Ben Gay tube close to his nose he will not be able to tell that you are not putting it on his cock. This usually works pretty well in getting him to do as you say!!

There are a thousand different things you can do. Tease and Denial is so much more than tying your submissive up and jacking him off or blowing him for 45 minutes. I don't even think that is the submissive desire. If you go and view Tease and Denial movies try and find authentic FemDom ones. If you don't, you will end up watching nothing more than a porn movie where the woman is there to please the man. I do love pleasing my submissive, and he is well pleased when I have teased him for hours, doing the things I have shared. Then when he is made to suck his cum out of a condom from my strap on he is very happy. Then make him thank you for allowing him to serve and please you!!! Now that is FemDom tease and denial!!!

There is a great article on Ms. Rika's site called "The joy of denial". She shares what the benefits of tease and denial are to the Domme and the sub. Go check it out. You won't be disappointed!!!

Do you want to be notified when I have updated my blog?

I am putting together a distribution list of anyone who would like to be notified via email when I have updated my blog. I will BCC everyone on the list so your email address will be hidden. Please do not worry about me selling or sharing your email address with anyone. I will also NEVER, EVER send any kind of spam. I will take all measures necessary to ensure your email address is kept in strict confidence.

If you are interested please email me at MrsClaudia2006@yahoo.com and I will add you to the distribution list.

My next post will be on Tease and Denial - What is in it for the Domme? It will be an eye opening post indeed.

Midori's Wild Side Weekend in Sin City

Our little ole' town is being graced by one of the most well known BDSM experts. Midori Fetish Diva is coming to Vegas June 23 and 24th. I am so excited I can hardly stand it. Here is a description of the classes she is giving.

Date: June 23rd & 24th

Location: The RACK

Current Sponsors: TNG Las Vegas, SinCity D/s, Nawayoi.com

Classes:

Beyond Twisted: Kink Outside the Box.

A sadist must of course be a dominant. A submissive must of course be a masochist. Right? Wrong! Come along as Midori explodes the standard definitions of kink roles and expands the idea of what kink is all about. In "Beyond Twisted," she maps out a fine-tuned and flexible framework that anyone can use to help describe their deviant desires. And as we all know, that's the first step to fulfilling them!This is a class for those who don't quite fit into the standard boxes... and for anyone who's curious about their own possibly untapped potential! Appropriate experience level: A class for the curious beginner as well as the advanced, experienced player. Tentative Ticket Price $15

Predicament Bondage.

Here's a class for fun-loving, wicked tops and for bottoms who enjoy a challenge. A predicament bondage creates a situation where the bottom is 'between a rock and a hard place.' Which ever direction the bottom moves has consequences, either physical or psychological. It can challenge your endurance, your pain threshold, or your pride.The class will include several demos, and you may have an opportunity to volunteer for one. If you're a service bottom or an escape artist, you may get a new challenge! Appropriate experience level: Some bondage experience preferred but not mandatory. Tentative Ticket Price $15

Erotic Foot Pampering for Lovers.

A special new class for sensuous couples! Learn how to create total body erotic pleasure in your lover through his or her feet. In this interactive class you'll learn how to sensually wash, create sexy foot spas, massage for sexual pleasure,over come foot-shyness, and incorporate foot pleasures into fantastic sex. Midori, the author of 'Foot and Shoe Worship' tells all. A class for couples and intimate friends. Bring two or three fluffy towels. Other equipment provided. Appropriate experience level: This class is suitable for beginners and experienced alike. Class Limited to 30 people. This is a couples event. Tentative Ticket Price $35.

There is a fourth class called "Hand and Foot Bondage" that I am not attending. I am not a big fan of hand and foot bondage but I am sure the class will be fun for those who are. I am pretty sure the entire event is sold out but if you are in the Las Vegas area on the dates listed above, go to Desert Rose Power Exchange Yahoo group for information. Do a search for "Midori" and the appropriate person to contact will be shown.

I am a huge fan of bondage and I am really excited about the Predicament Bondage class. My subby is an escape artist so I will learn some new, fun and interesting positions to put him in. Then the Erotic Foot Massage class is my next favorite. I LOVE foot worship, I even think I might have a little foot fetish myself. I adore having my feet massaged, pampered and worshiped. I will post how things go after the event. It is bound to be a lot of fun.

Domme Guilt - When something goes wrong.

I was reading on Mistress160's Abode a wonderful post on Aftercare for Dommes. This is a subject that is not really talked about to much. The entire article was exceptional, but what I would like to focus on is Domme Guilt. What do you do when something goes wrong?

For me, I never expect something to go wrong, but I have prepared myself if something was to go wrong. I am very careful to never leave my subby alone when he is in bondage, especially if I am mixing sensory deprivation with it. I practice with any new toys I get first, to make sure I don't misuse the device. Well, so far, so good. But what about when something happens that is completely out of your control? What do you do when a decision you have made negatively affects your submissive? While I don't have all the answers, I do have some experience in this arena.

It is easy to tell others what to do physically when something goes wrong. If bondage has somehow gone wrong, then use your emergency medical sheers to cut the person out. If it is serious enough, call an ambulance or get your submissive to the ER immediately. You would rather be safe than sorry. My focus with this article is how to handle the guilt when a decision YOU make as a Domme causes an injury. It is so easy to say "Don't blame yourself, it wasn't intentional." Which is actually true. Unless you are a complete psycho I am sure you NEVER, EVER have the intention of causing any damage to your submissive.

So, let's say you have had an accident. You might be back home from the ER or just holding your submissive after a near mistake. I know exactly what is going on inside your mind and heart. "What the fuck am I doing?" "Maybe I am not cut out to be a Domme!" "How could I be so irresponsible and careless?" Again, unless you intended to cause harm, it is OK! Do not beat yourself up. No matter what you think, the activities we engage in all have a risk. We are human, and no matter how careful and educated you are, there is always a chance something could go wrong. That is how we learn sometimes. Just because something has gone wrong does not mean you weren't cut out for this whole FemDom thing. Just because we are the Dominants does not mean we are all knowing. If we were, we would be God, and that is not a job I want.

All I can do is educate and prepare myself. Make sure you have friends in the lifestyle that you can talk to. They will reassure you that you are OK. Make sure you communicate with your submissive that you are truly sorry and that you never meant to hurt them. Cry until you can't cry anymore. Then remind yourself, over and over if need be, that it was not intentional. If you would have known this would happen you would have never, ever done it. Sometimes we can do everything humanly possible to prevent a mistake, to only find yourself living a mistake. I guess it goes with the territory!

I don't want to get into details, but I just experienced a "mistake" that I had no way of anticipating or preventing. The guilt I have experienced was unimaginable. I am thankfully on the other side of it, but I was beating myself up for a week. This man's life is in my hands and that is a responsibility I take very seriously, as I should. I am a very careful Domme. I research and research and then research some more. I practice, practice, practice. I talk to other Dommes for advice and most times I experience what I will have my submissive experience. With all this carefulness, things can still go wrong. What I need to do is pick myself up, learn from my mistake, and move on. Some of the guilt is still there, but it is passing each day. My submissive is my #1 priority and I love him more than anything in this world. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. If I would have ever thought this would happen, I would have NEVER, EVER, done it, PERIOD!!!

I am not sure if this post is going to help anyone. This one I am really posting for me. To get it out and hopefully help a fellow Domme not run for the hills if something, God forbid, should go wrong. If you have no one else to talk to, email me. I will completely understand what you are feeling, and I will do my best to help you get back on track!!